


you'll be okay (hold on to better days)

by edbloom



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Gen, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Relationships, ish, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22030975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edbloom/pseuds/edbloom
Summary: Renjun had zero problems with affection.He accepted hugs with fervor, kisses with hums and hand holdings with delight. He accepted affection like a huge gaping void, wanting to be filled.He didn’t really have any problems with it.Until Donghyuck.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun & Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67
Collections: BBBFest Debut Round: The Bittersweet Option





	you'll be okay (hold on to better days)

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi 
> 
> so this is one of my entries for bbb fest!!
> 
> i got the prompts "giving up on asserting personal space and boundaries" and "excessive playing with each other's hair" and decided that i'd write a fic with them together. so yeah!!
> 
> hope you guys enjoy!!

Renjun had zero problems with affection.

He accepted hugs with fervor, kisses with hums and hand holdings with delight. He accepted affection like a huge gaping void, wanting to be filled.

He didn’t really have any problems with it. 

Until Donghyuck.

Donghyuck was different. Renjun didn’t know why. Maybe, it's because Renjun was only open to affection once he got to know the person, and Donghyuck. Well. He didn’t care for that. 

The first time Renjun met Donghyuck, the older had stuck out his hand for a handshake but it was quickly met with a laugh and one armed shoulder hug. To say Renjun was intrigued and a little bit uncomfortable was an understatement. He didn’t have any problem with affection, he just wasn’t used to it coming from a complete stranger. 

And if Donghyuck felt the way Renjun flinched when he hugged him, well, he didn’t utter a word of it. 

—

So that’s how it went, for a long while. Renjun avoiding and dodging Donghyuck’s hugs and affection, in general– the pinching of cheeks, the ruffling of hair, the kisses. Oh god.

The  _ kisses _ .

—

Renjun didn’t know what Donghyuck was smiling about but the glint in his eyes was daunting. It was something he wore when he had an idea. An idea that always meant trouble and then some. It also didn’t help that the smile and the glint were directed at him. For some reason.

He started thinking of the things he might’ve said or done to the younger to put him off. Renjun travelled back to this morning, recalling everything that happened in the salon. He returned his charger. He let him rest his head on his shoulder. He dodged all the hugs the younger was aiming at him during their walk to the dressing room. He gave in on at least two of those hugs. He helped the younger vocalize. Even gave him a pat on the back.

Huh– Renjun was stumped. He didn’t know what he did wrong. Everything went the way it usually went so why did Donghyuck look like he was three seconds away from either pushing him off a cliff or hugging him to death.

“Hey, you’re on in 10 minutes. Let’s go,” a series of knocks made him blink his way out of his thoughts. A crew member stood in the door frame with his knuckles on the door. He sees Donghyuck giggle before turning his attention to the staff, and making his way out of the door. He feels himself sigh in relief before following the rest of the members out of the door. 

Atleast, for now, he was safe.

The stage for Renjun was his safe space. With the blaring stage lights, deafening fan chants, and the neon green lights, Renjun thought he could get used to the idea of home being on stage.

But that time, it was different. Usually when Renjun stepped on stage, his mind would be calm and empty. He would let the music take over his senses and let muscle memory take over.

That day though, Donghyuck’s smile wouldn’t leave his mind. Normally, Renjun wasn’t the type to overthink every single action he had ever made but this wasn’t the usual. This was Donghyuck, and that made all the difference.

At this point in time, Donghyuck had gone from that annoying kid who had no respect for personal boundaries to that annoying kid who was kinda okay. It was different now. He meant something to Renjun now. And Renjun, for all his bite and bark, hated hurting his friends.

So really, this was different. And it was seriously stressing him out.

His internal breakdown would soon be answered when Donghyuck came skipping towards him after their performance.  _ So he wasn’t mad _ , Renjun had thought. Renjun hadn’t done anything wrong. Relief flooded his senses before he tensed as he saw Donghyuck jump towards him.

“Renjun!” He shouted as he crashed onto him. All Renjun could do was grunt, staggering backwards by the sudden assault. Definitely wasn’t mad. Still very annoying.

“What?” Renjun noticed the younger’s arms still wrapped around him. He huffed, trying to break away from Donghyuck’s grip. But the younger only held on tighter. Very very annoying.

“You can’t do that,” came the playful hum of the younger. Donghyuck nuzzled against his neck. He felt his face heat up and his head start to buzz. He had no trouble with affection, sure, but this was just too much. He felt his head just malfunction realizing how close Donghyuck was. 

“W-What the hell,” he pushed Donghyuck’s face away from his neck. “Are you doing?” His question was met with a chuckle of some sort and  _ that _ smile.

“Nothing, just noticed something,” Renjun tried to stretch his way out of Donghyuck’s prison of a hug but the boy was smart. He just held on tighter and wrapped his legs around Renjun’s. So so annoying.

“What?”

“You’re growing soft on me, Jun,” his smile grew wider and not the first time since this whole interaction, Renjun was suddenly overcome with the urge to clock that smile off of his face.

“What?” The grimace on Renjun’s face clear as day.

“You’re growing  _ soft _ on me,” came Donghyuck’s reply again. His face inched closer to Renjun’s, his lips in a pucker. Thus, triggering Renjun’s fight or flight instincts. He thrashed around in Donghyuck’s hold in a violent attempt to keep some distance while Donghyuck laughed in a sinister way. For all the teasing that Donghyuck was weak, he definitely packed strength when he was determined. It seemed that in this particular situation, he was particularly determined.

“Stand still, dude.”

Was all he heard before he felt something wet smack against his cheeks.  _ What the fuck _ . He froze over. He stopped thrashing against Donghyuck’s hold. He vaguely heard snickering in the background but none of that mattered at that moment. All that mattered was the mush that was his brain, trying to comprehend what just happened.

Donghyuck had just kissed him. An honest to god, kiss. Granted, it was on the cheek. But did that matter? It was a kiss, nonetheless. Donghyuck had kissed him. Huh.

He was so dead.

“Run.”

Donghyuck’s laugh rang throughout the hallway as Renjun gave all of his effort, chasing him down.

—

Unfortunately for Renjun, the kisses never stopped. They only gradually worsened in number. And it didn’t just happen in the confines of the dorm or the dressing room, it started happening in front of the fans too, during vlives or fanmeets. 

The first time it happened in a vlive, Renjun swore, he almost clocked Donghyuck on the jaw. He was half way there when he remembered the burning sensation of the lights and stopped himself. Donghyuck’s self satisfied smirk didn’t really help his case.

Gradually though, Renjun got used to it. Got used to the whole banter of it. He’d even play along sometimes by shouting animatedly when Donghyuck tries to kiss him. 

Then it started evolving. Because now, Renjun was comfortable. Now, Renjun saw this as normal. Suddenly, Donghyuck and Renjun have created this thing. Donghyuck gives Renjun affection, and because of entirely petty reasons, Renjun retaliates by returning the favor. To which Donghyuck doesn’t really see as retaliation, especially since Donghyuck never refused affection. And that became a thing.  _ Their _ thing.

—

Renjun and Donghyuck weren’t close. They had a thing and Renjun had no qualms with Donghyuck’s affection anymore but they weren’t  _ close _ . Not like him and Jaemin or Donghyuck and Jeno. They didn’t consider the other a confidant nor did they look to the other for emotional support. They were just friends, the pair of jokers at the back of the classroom who were only close because they found common interest in humoring the class. They weren’t close. And that wasn’t Renjun being insensitive. That was just a fact. 

He guessed Donghyuck didn’t get the memo.

—

It was a quiet night. Renjun was alone in the dorms that night. Chenle was back in his home, and Jeno, Jaemin and Jisung had an overseas schedule. They were all set to come back the following day so Renjun wasn’t all worried about being alone. Truthfully, it was nice. It felt nice. You never truly experience this type of peace and quiet when you live in a house with three other boys. 

Renjun was sitting on the couch, breathing through months of exhaustion and tense muscles, existing simply at that moment with the heat in his hands and the buzz of the television. He was watching a documentary that time, something about the War of the Worlds, Ghostwatch, and the fine line between reality and fantasy with each advancement of technology. It was interesting, Renjun thought. His thoughts were broken by a resounding knock on the door. Knock. Knock. Knock. And then, silence.

Huh, Renjun thought.

He set his mug on the coffee table and got up to answer the door. He opened the door, eyes widen and his head starts to fill with questions.  _ What was Donghyuck doing here? _

“Hey Donghyuck,” the boy looked torn and worn to the bones. Eyes were trained to the ground and droopy with each second he stood in front of Renjun. With gentle hands, he guides Donghyuck inside, shutting the door behind him. He lead Donghyuck to the couch. Renjun instantly reached for the remote to lower down the sound. They needed the white noise, he thought. The younger boy was sitting on the couch, playing with his fingers, not even lifting his head to glance at Renjun. 

“Hey Hyuckie,” Renjun sat beside him, leaning against the back of the couch. “What’s up?” Now, let Renjun let you in on a little secret- He had no idea what he was doing. This wasn’t something he’s done before. Like Renjun said, Donghyuck doesn’t usually do this, doesn’t come to him during a hard time. The only time Donghyuck initiated something with him was when he wanted to piss him off. And that was it. So this was new, very new, very something Renjun didn’t know how to handle. Should tread this carefully, he thought, kind of like with Jisung.

“Is Jeno here?” Came a whisper from Donghyuck. It was so quiet, the TV could’ve washed it away. Good thing Renjun was hyper aware of everything Donghyuck at that moment, or he wouldn’t have caught it. 

“He isn’t here, Hyuckie. Remember, he has an overseas thing,” Renjun kept his voice soft, gentle, malleable. Donghyuck looked like if he spoke a volume higher and he would break. 

“Oh,” his voice crack rang through the whole room.  _ Just like with Jisung. _

“Come here, Hyuckie,” he guided Donghyuck to lay down on his lap, laying his head down carefully. The boy curled up in a ball, instantly. He feels him breathe, rigid, tense. This won’t do, he thought. He threaded his fingers through Donghyuck’s hair. He hoped Donghyuck liked it. It always worked with Jisung, He thought. He felt Donghyuck relax, slightly. It was working, atleast.

“Why were you looking for Jeno, Hyuckie?” He whispered to the boy. He scratches his scalp, slightly, before going back to playing with his hair. He curls his fingers slightly, before letting the bunch of hair in his grip fall off. He repeats it, again and again and again.

“Am just tired,” his whisper wafted through the air. He continued playing with the boy’s hair. White noise waned as the silence between the two of them grew and grew. It was comfortable though. And he was on his third braid when he hears it. A small sob. It was so quiet, Renjun wouldn't have caught it if it wasn’t Donghyuck. 

“It’s okay, Hyuckie. It’s okay,” he whispered to the boy as his fingers sifted through his hair, gentle, not much pressure. He heard the sobs grew louder, and he felt his heart shudder. This wasn’t right, was all he could think as he held the boy closer.

They fell asleep on the couch that night. With Donghyuck’s head on his chest, and his fingers in his hair.

—

**Author's Note:**

> twt: _ren1e


End file.
